Lori’s post today has a major inconsistency. Before I get to that, I will start at the beginning of her post:
An older woman shared a story on my Facebook page of a woman she knew and how this woman had won her evil husband to Christ. No, it wasn’t a pretty story and the woman suffered greatly but it sure made women angry and offended with this woman for telling this story. Should she not have told this story?
Darla wrote, “I know a lady whose husband physically beat her at times and after he went to bed, she would earnestly pray over him. During the days, she would clean the house and make her home beautiful for him and cook wonderful food. Now, he is a strong Christian and he leads people to the Lord. It is true that it can really work. What is suffering when you can bring someone into eternity with you?”
First, I want to point out that Darla is most likely a troll. Her comments lately have been so over the top that it seems she is purposely saying things to get a reaction. To Lori though, Darla tickles her ears and tells her what she wants to hear.
Secondly, people should share their stories if they are true stories. There is a thin line though between fact and fiction and we tend to want to believe stories that confirm our own views and reject stories that challenge our views. Interestingly, it is Lori that doesn’t let stories be heard. She doesn’t like hearing from people who she deems “exceptions” and will delete such comments as you can see here:
Just today she pleaded with a woman to not discount Darla’s story. Yet Lori is free to discount the stories of all the exceptions.
Back to the text of Lori’s post:
Kaydee responded, “Darla, actually that sounds pretty deranged and at the least codependent, but at the worst Stockholm syndrome. I hope you didn’t know her while the abuse was going on, because you’d be a terrible person for not doing something to help her get out. This mental gymnastics game that you’re playing about how when they’re dead they’re going to still be together making it okay is literally the worst thing I’ve heard in weeks.”
A man then responded to Kaydee, “So, woman stands strong in her faith through trials and tribulations. God sees her through and works a heart change in her husband, and now they have a good marriage and you call that deranged? By your advice, she would be divorced, who knows what shape spiritually her husband would be as bad or worse than before but yeah, sounds like your plan is good.”
Few would believe this woman should have stayed with her abusive husband. Most would have told her that she should not have submitted to this type of abuse and that she had every right to seek the authorities and find protection. Maybe some had told her to leave but she refused. Most of us would agree that she shouldn’t have had to live like she did but she did and now her husband’s soul is sealed for eternity! Why can’t someone give this testimony without women becoming angry and offended? Darla didn’t use this story to encourage other women in these types of situations to stay but in order to give an example of a woman who won her evil husband without a word (1 Peter 3:1, 2).
It is not a woman’s job to save her husband’s soul! This is a hefty, incredible burden, especially for the weaker sex.
More Lori:
Personally, I would never counsel a woman in this situation to stay with her husband and I don’t think many would.
Stop there. This is where the major contradiction lays.
In addition to the above statement, in comments today Lori also said this
Today she says its a biblical option for a wife to leave abuse, but not so long ago she said there is no biblical option for a wife to leave abuse:
Which is it?
The rest of the post:
Maybe this woman truly did love her husband. Maybe he worked hard and provided for her family so she could stay home full time with her children. Maybe her faith was so strong that she knew that when she was suffering, she was suffering for Christ. Maybe she read and studied 1 Peter 2 and knew that as Christ had suffered for her, she was willing to suffer for Christ.
Yes, her story ended wonderful. Her husband is a powerful man of faith. Yes, love and kindness can win even the worst of men, and we must NEVER down play the powerful influence that praying to a Living God may have; for He hears our prayers. No, we shouldn’t be offended at stories like this but be in awe that a woman was willing to actually lay down her life, pick up her cross, and obey the Lord even while suffering greatly.
I won’t be offended, if Lori isn’t offended when she hears stories where these cases go totally differently. I would suggest a woman can try the “Peter prescription” but that it promises no guarantees. I’ve heard stories on both sides. Stories where a woman does exactly the same thing as alleged here, but she ends up dead. Those stories matter too.
Christians all over the world are being persecuted for their faith in Jesus Christ (this is promised in His Word) but if a wife is persecuted for trying to win her disobedient husband, people respond in horror? I don’t. This woman has stored her treasures in heaven and has a husband who will live in eternity with her. Just because I am relaying this story and writing these things doesn’t mean I believe women who are in physically abusive marriages should stay.
Not agreeing with someone’s story or advice on the internet is not persecution!
Again, she reiterates that she doesn’t believe women in abusive marriages should stay. While that is nice to hear, I believe its a political move because her true beliefs are memorialized in the screenshot above. Its slippery because she uses the words “leave” and “not stay” in today’s post, but isn’t clear about divorce. To the casual reader its easy to assume she means or also means divorce is OK in abuse, but I believe her original screenshot on this that there are no biblical exceptions for abuse and divorce. That if you are abused you can leave and be separated for a lifetime, but you must never divorce. Essentially barring woman from ever being able to experience a healthy relationship.
This is just one story of a woman who did. There is no promise that all stories will end like hers but hers did. It’s worth retelling so others can understand the power of a transformed live in another human being, even an evil human being, and the power of the Gospel being lived out. This woman poured burning coals of love upon her husband’s head and was rewarded for it. How can anyone fault her for this?
No fault found here if that is what the woman wanted to do. And kudos for her saying “there is no promise”, but we also can’t find fault those who chose to leave either. Those who leave and those who stay are truly doing what they deem right and hopefully safest for their situation.
Things Godly Women Say 
“No, we shouldn’t be offended at stories like this but be in awe that a woman was willing to actually lay down her life, pick up her cross, and obey the Lord even while suffering greatly.”
And, as you said, she shouldn’t be offended when women share stories that end differently. I know of a woman who stayed with her abusive, alcoholic, drug-using husband for several decades. She left him a few years ago and now this man is basically destroying his elder son’s life (and the life of his family). Staying and applying the “1st Peter 3 prescription” can be the worst decision in some cases.
You can tell that Lori thinks this is the best way to deal with abuse, but children whose lives have been negatively impacted by this strategy will tell you otherwise.
“There is no promise that all stories will end like hers but hers did. It’s worth retelling so others can understand the power of a transformed live in another human being, even an evil human being, and the power of the Gospel being lived out.”
It’s worth retelling stories of women who decided to hand their husband over to God and WALK AWAY to save theirs and their children’s lives. Some men only wake up when they have to face the pain of their poor choices. Staying can be enabling sin.
Once again, Lori has shown how little she cares about other women and their stories. She’s not interested in weeping with those who weep or helping a hurting woman carry her burden. Nope. It’s all about Lori.
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